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MADDAD
Husband & Father of 4, Grandpa of 1
Articles Posted: 136; Links Seeded: 4404
Member Since: 11/2008Last Seen: 12/24/2009
Member Since: 11/2008Last Seen: 12/24/2009
33 Comments
PrintBreak Time: Over 60 Years Old
News Type: Other — Wed Nov 4, 2009 11:25 AM EST
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Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ..."
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
23 Votes- Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.
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23
9.5
4.1
{"commentId":10469397,"authorDomain":"maddad0467"}
no disrespect intended, hope you like these.............
{"commentId":10469397,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"maddad0467"}
- 11 votes
#1 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 11:27 AM EST{"commentId":10477445,"authorDomain":"millerboudicca"}
OMG did my wife leave her journal at your house?
{"commentId":10477445,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"millerboudicca"}
- 5 votes
{"commentId":10483460,"authorDomain":"kimmy123"}
I found them all funny. But from my perspective, "Where can a 60+ year old find a beautiful woman?" My wife of 36+ years. Humour is funny. But I find that these old men are trying to regain their youth. I personally find it upsetting. You are old and you should look at the woman you married and love her as I do my wife. Remember, as she looks older, so do you. As I grow older, my wife looks better. I look at our wedding pictures and remember the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I still see her. I still remember her. I am proud to be still married her.
{"commentId":10483460,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"kimmy123"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":10503649,"authorDomain":"ulicnyp001"}
Old age is not for sissies.
{"commentId":10503649,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"ulicnyp001"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":10503673,"authorDomain":"millerboudicca"}
Old age is not for sissies
aint that the truth?
{"commentId":10503673,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"millerboudicca"}
{"commentId":10503741,"authorDomain":"ulicnyp001"}
Old age is not for sissies. I am getting to an age where I now have a plausible excuse for behavior that I have exhibited for decades. Or, put another way, I am transitioning from my first childhood to my second, with no intervening period of maturity.
{"commentId":10503741,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"ulicnyp001"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":10510312,"authorDomain":"kimmy123"}
I remember what my father said when he turned 80.
"What I used to be able to do all night, now takes me all night."
I am only 60 and I understand!
{"commentId":10510312,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"kimmy123"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":10470243,"authorDomain":"cwasylk-1"}
Good ones Mark and I'm over 60 so no offense taken. lols
{"commentId":10470243,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"cwasylk-1"}
- 6 votes
#2 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 11:55 AM EST{"commentId":10471691,"authorDomain":"neenie1991"}
Over 60 my azz. I'm 45 and alot of these are happening now. I need a nap.
{"commentId":10471691,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"neenie1991"}
- 11 votes
#3 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 12:41 PM EST{"commentId":10471747,"authorDomain":"neenie1991"}
Over 60 my azz. I'm 45 and alot of these are happening now. I need a nap.
{"commentId":10471747,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"neenie1991"}
- 3 votes
#4 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 12:43 PM EST{"commentId":10472433,"authorDomain":"augurwell"}
Every day.......every day.......! (*pinkgrins*!)
{"commentId":10472433,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"augurwell"}
- 5 votes
#5 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 1:03 PM EST{"commentId":10473217,"authorDomain":"par4thecourse"}
MadDad - Thank you for the seed.. being over 60 .. I can now find my new mistress.. lol
{"commentId":10473217,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"par4thecourse"}
- 10 votes
#6 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 1:28 PM EST{"commentId":10473858,"authorDomain":"Rixar13"}
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
I learn something new everyday. The problem is that I forget about three things everyday too.
{"commentId":10473858,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"Rixar13"}
- 5 votes
#7 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 1:48 PM EST{"commentId":10474553,"authorDomain":"par4thecourse"}
Memory storage? I didn't pay my bill this month.. will I lose what I got? Do you think the storage company will mind, I couldn't remember...?
{"commentId":10474553,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"par4thecourse"}
- 5 votes
{"commentId":10475733,"authorDomain":"Jamesdevore"}
lol I love these maddad gives me somethin to send to my mother inlaw and my pops
{"commentId":10475733,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"Jamesdevore"}
- 5 votes
{"commentId":10480311,"authorDomain":"par4thecourse"}
Most mother-in-laws should receive things like that... however.. it is like a double edge sword.. it may help them.. but they may remember you.
{"commentId":10480311,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"par4thecourse"}
- 6 votes
{"commentId":10511107,"authorDomain":"Karri-M"}
Most mother-in-laws should receive things like that...<snip> .. but they may remember you.
The best thing about my mother-in-law's dementia -- she forgot that she hated me. (She also forgot we was related to me.)
{"commentId":10511107,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"Karri-M"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":10476211,"authorDomain":"sme5028"}
these are great, some could be used for b-day cards! ;)
{"commentId":10476211,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"sme5028"}
- 2 votes
#8 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 3:10 PM EST{"commentId":10512005,"authorDomain":"melrosefaulkner"}
I was thinking the same thing. LOL My dad in law and my daddy are both about to be nudging 50. Hmmmm...
{"commentId":10512005,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"melrosefaulkner"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":10476989,"authorDomain":"pennid"}
You've been reading my diary again, maddad. Shame.
{"commentId":10476989,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"pennid"}
- 2 votes
#9 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 3:40 PM EST{"commentId":10477154,"authorDomain":"Jamesdevore"}
no I been reading your diary maddad just pumped me for information and I caved
{"commentId":10477154,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"Jamesdevore"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":10512030,"authorDomain":"melrosefaulkner"}
James, didn't you learn not to confess to something that you didn't have to? You have to wait and see what you are being accused of first, then determine what you absolutely have to confess to. LOL
{"commentId":10512030,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"melrosefaulkner"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":10477322,"authorDomain":"farmer"}
Never read so much crap in my life. I'm out of here. Going back to Newsvine where they don't pick on old people.
{"commentId":10477322,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"farmer"}
- 5 votes
#10 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 3:54 PM EST{"commentId":10478812,"authorDomain":"h-kuehn"}
Funny stuff!
{"commentId":10478812,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"h-kuehn"}
- 3 votes
#11 - Wed Nov 4, 2009 4:57 PM EST{"commentId":10516085,"authorDomain":"ruthlessmoose"}
old people are neat
{"commentId":10516085,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"ruthlessmoose"}
- 3 votes
#12 - Fri Nov 6, 2009 7:53 AM EST{"commentId":10516853,"authorDomain":"DaVoh"}
Whazzzup!
{"commentId":10516853,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"DaVoh"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":10524732,"authorDomain":"ruthlessmoose"}
seems like it's been a while since we've tag-team commented a story lol
Have you been seeing that story where (insert almost any woman's name here) has been yelling at me for apparently thinking raping women is funny? lol
{"commentId":10524732,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"ruthlessmoose"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":10525084,"authorDomain":"melrosefaulkner"}
Which story is that ruthless?
OMG! LOL Ruthless and DaVoH together again! This gonna get funny.
{"commentId":10525084,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"melrosefaulkner"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":10526626,"authorDomain":"DaVoh"}
it's been a while
I know, right? I've been busy as hell the past few weeks at work.
tag-team commented
Lissa, we have you sandwiched =)
{"commentId":10526626,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"DaVoh"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":10528596,"authorDomain":"melrosefaulkner"}
Oooooo... That sounds like a lot of fun!
{"commentId":10528596,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"melrosefaulkner"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":10575529,"authorDomain":"ruthlessmoose"}
A sandwich where I'm on of the pieces of whitebread is ALWAYS fun lol ;P
I've been causing trouble over on the story - http://maddad0467.newsvine.com/_news/2009/10/26/3425442-todays-tip-when-youre-doing-a-sex-act-in-a-porn-shop-dont-sit-near-a-cop?commentId=10515971#c10515971
{"commentId":10575529,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"ruthlessmoose"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":10516187,"authorDomain":"lvmom"}
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Unless the older man is rich. In that case, look under "Bimbos".
{"commentId":10516187,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"lvmom"}
- 3 votes
#13 - Fri Nov 6, 2009 8:00 AM EST{"commentId":10518195,"authorDomain":"augurwell"}
Old people choose to talk to themselves, because they choose to talk to the wisest person in the room. Augur's Axioms. (shameless plug there, I know!) (*pinkgrins*!)
But I believe the sentiment is true!
{"commentId":10518195,"threadId":"716488","contentId":"3460411","authorDomain":"augurwell"}
- 2 votes
#14 - Fri Nov 6, 2009 9:39 AM EST{"canLink":false,"threadId":"716488","isPrivate":false}
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