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MADDAD

Husband & Father of 4, Grandpa of 1
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Member Since: 11/2008Last Seen: 12/24/2009

Break Time: Funny Quotes From The Famous On Drinkin' & Smokin'

News Type: Event — Sat Nov 7, 2009 8:38 AM EST

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"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?"
Denis Leary

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde

"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."
Groucho Marx

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
Humprey Bogart.

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Joe E Lewis.

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
Ernest Hemmingway.

"He was a wise man who invented beer."
Plato.

"I can resist everything except temptation."
Oscar Wilde

"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label."
Mark Twain

http://www.comedy-zone.net/index.htm

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4.1
{"commentId":10539177,"authorDomain":"maddad0467"}
maddad

funny stuff, enjoy.....

{"commentId":10539177,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"maddad0467"}
  • 6 votes
Reply#1 - Sat Nov 7, 2009 8:39 AM EST
{"commentId":10539268,"authorDomain":"stinkweepete"}
Stinkweed Pete

All geniuses in my opinion.

Except, of course, dear Brooke.

Hot, but definitely not a genius.

{"commentId":10539268,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"stinkweepete"}
  • 7 votes
Reply#2 - Sat Nov 7, 2009 8:49 AM EST
{"commentId":10574763,"authorDomain":"KimmieLynn"}
Kimberly-430040

Brooke, soo beautiful but not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.

{"commentId":10574763,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"KimmieLynn"}
  • 7 votes
#2.1 - Mon Nov 9, 2009 12:28 PM EST
{"commentId":11379318,"authorDomain":"lkessler41"}
Lkessler

Kim: whoever said pretty people were supposed to be sharp? ;)

Pretty and dumb have always gone well together. :)

{"commentId":11379318,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"lkessler41"}
  • 1 vote
#2.2 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 2:44 PM EST
Reply
{"commentId":10539829,"authorDomain":"DaVoh"}
DaVoH

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.

Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems

Homer Simpson

{"commentId":10539829,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"DaVoh"}
  • 7 votes
Reply#3 - Sat Nov 7, 2009 9:41 AM EST
{"commentId":10540683,"authorDomain":"jimmyjamm93442"}
Jim420
"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?"
Denis Leary

LOL funny coming from someone that sings a song about being an A**hole

{"commentId":10540683,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"jimmyjamm93442"}
  • 6 votes
Reply#4 - Sat Nov 7, 2009 10:52 AM EST
{"commentId":10541401,"authorDomain":"neenie1991"}
neenie1991

Oscar Wilde - alway brilliant.

{"commentId":10541401,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"neenie1991"}
  • 4 votes
Reply#5 - Sat Nov 7, 2009 11:45 AM EST
{"commentId":10557389,"authorDomain":"kareem-in-my-coffee"}
Kareem in my Coffee

I'm having a drink in honor of this seed!!!!

Happy day to all!! Peace and love etc.......

{"commentId":10557389,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"kareem-in-my-coffee"}
  • 1 vote
Reply#6 - Sun Nov 8, 2009 10:26 AM EST
{"commentId":10566148,"authorDomain":"CoolRockinDaddy"}
Skallywag-572756

Lady Astor to Winston Churchil: "Sir, you are drunk."

Winston Churchil's Reply: "Yes madam. But in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly."

{"commentId":10566148,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"CoolRockinDaddy"}
  • 5 votes
Reply#7 - Sun Nov 8, 2009 8:55 PM EST
{"commentId":10620753,"authorDomain":"little-sure-shot"}
Little Sure Shot

One of my all time favs. I can't resist posting her next statement to him....."(LA) Sir, if you were my husband I would put poison in your coffee. (SWC) Madam if I were your husband, I would drink it."

{"commentId":10620753,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"little-sure-shot"}
  • 4 votes
#7.1 - Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:05 PM EST
{"commentId":10622281,"authorDomain":"CoolRockinDaddy"}
Skallywag-572756

Ah, yes, I forgot about that one!

{"commentId":10622281,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"CoolRockinDaddy"}
  • 1 vote
#7.2 - Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:07 PM EST
Reply
{"commentId":10572303,"authorDomain":"lilgremlin"}
lilgremlin

"I had previously stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever met. I have since been visited by her sister and wish to retract that statement."

Mark Twain

{"commentId":10572303,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"lilgremlin"}
  • 7 votes
Reply#8 - Mon Nov 9, 2009 10:31 AM EST
{"commentId":10574727,"authorDomain":"KimmieLynn"}
Kimberly-430040

LOL !

{"commentId":10574727,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"KimmieLynn"}
  • 5 votes
#8.1 - Mon Nov 9, 2009 12:26 PM EST
Reply
{"commentId":10574713,"authorDomain":"KimmieLynn"}
Kimberly-430040
"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke." Groucho Marx

I love Groucho.....=)

{"commentId":10574713,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"KimmieLynn"}
  • 5 votes
Reply#9 - Mon Nov 9, 2009 12:26 PM EST
{"commentId":10579910,"authorDomain":"tcooper2004"}
RACHEL1-933952
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
Humprey Bogart.

True then, true now!

{"commentId":10579910,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"tcooper2004"}
  • 3 votes
Reply#10 - Mon Nov 9, 2009 4:09 PM EST
{"commentId":10620659,"authorDomain":"little-sure-shot"}
Little Sure Shot

"Yes Madam I am and you are ugly. Tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly."....Sir Winston Churchill to Lady Astor when she called him a drunk.

{"commentId":10620659,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"little-sure-shot"}
  • 2 votes
Reply#11 - Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:01 PM EST
{"commentId":10620773,"authorDomain":"little-sure-shot"}
Little Sure Shot

Sorry yall. I posted this after missing Skallywags comment.

{"commentId":10620773,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"little-sure-shot"}
  • 2 votes
#11.1 - Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:05 PM EST
{"commentId":10620835,"authorDomain":"DaVoh"}
DaVoH

Still funny

{"commentId":10620835,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"DaVoh"}
  • 2 votes
#11.2 - Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:08 PM EST
Reply
{"commentId":10654995,"authorDomain":"CoolRockinDaddy"}
Skallywag-572756

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.

--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

--Kaiser Welhelm

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

--Dave Barry

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

--Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

--Dave Barry

{"commentId":10654995,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"CoolRockinDaddy"}
  • 1 vote
Reply#12 - Fri Nov 13, 2009 9:04 AM EST
{"commentId":10657163,"authorDomain":"CoolRockinDaddy"}
Skallywag-572756

"Hey look! There's Lassie, taking a dump! Uh, sorry, it's Fidel Castro with a cigar..."
Unknown

{"commentId":10657163,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"CoolRockinDaddy"}
  • 2 votes
Reply#13 - Fri Nov 13, 2009 10:46 AM EST
{"commentId":11379397,"authorDomain":"lkessler41"}
Lkessler

Well, I thought I'd share one of my faves, courtesy of the unibrow woman herself, Ms. Frida Kahlo (and brainyquote.com, of course!):

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.

Which means, of course, that drinking is very good for you. So drink up everybody! :D

{"commentId":11379397,"threadId":"718982","contentId":"3471483","authorDomain":"lkessler41"}
  • 1 vote
Reply#14 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 2:49 PM EST
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