This morning the boys are at the bus stop and heading back to school. Spring Break has been a learning experience and one that I am already planning how not to have so much next year.
I love all my children with everything that I am, I would never stop fighting for them or their rights as human-beings and Americans, I am just happy as a pig in his own crap that the public school system, despite some political ram fighting, is up and running and these kids are back to learning the most valuable lessons in life.
So the real question comes down to who learned what during this preview of the summer heat? Looks like me.
My sons are 8 & 9, up till this past couple of weeks, they have been restricted to a large yard (1/4 of an acre). As some of you may recall from my early writing here, I have been the victim and father of a victim of childhood sexual abuse. One of the apparent results for me has been my unwillingness to let the kids go and ride their bikes and play with their friends in our neighborhood. Well, I gave it a whirl....The oldest almost got killed pulling out in-front of a car...he didn't think those signs were for kids....and the youngest was wheeling and dealing, trading up toys and electronics. The last 3 or 4 days they were back in the yard, along with 4-6 neighborhood kids. Thanks goodness for bottled water!
So now I know. No matter how much I think I am doing to protect these kids, they are going to grow, spread their wings and will be exposed to a world that can be dangerous and perverted. But, they are also going to find new ideas and see things they never knew could exist. It seems we just keep rediscovering our world and finding things that were missed. They will make friends that will stand by them for the rest of their lives and some that will be fighting with them on the bus in a month. They will find their way, I can either loosen my grip slowly and with caution, or they will rip themselves from my grasp.
I will always walk around with a daily delusion that I am in some kid of control, and in many ways I have to be. However, much of it is an obvious illusion, an illusion that is serving this father just fine.